I married a man I don’t love and I can’t stop thinking about an ex.

I married a man whom I don’t love and I can’t stop thinking about an ex.

The more you look at things this way, the longer your frustration will be. Do it differently, look at him differently. Start looking at him as the love of your life. Let me tell you a little about love...

Love is not a feeling. If you wait to feel love for your husband, you'll wait forever. Love is like faith. I love you, therefore, I'm replying to you, in other words, I love you and so I want to help you, I want to please you. There's no feeling into that, it's the real kind of love. Work on this kind of love, look at your husband as the love of your life. Once you do that for awhile, you'll start developing the other love, the attraction kind of love, the one between a man and a woman.

Regarding this ex, think of him as an impediment for your happiness. The more you think of him, the worst it will be for your family, your marriage, your life.

D's Diary - Day 16

Dear Apprentice Morphister,

I laughed and laughed upon your comments on our last annual hellish conference. I couldn’t believe it at first, then I realized, and you were serious about making a point out of man’s weakest spots. Do you honestly believe that man’s weakness lies in his pride? I know that pride is indeed the way to failure, don’t get me wrong, after all, we demons know that only too well! Nevertheless, pride is just a consequence; it cannot be counted as the source of weakness.

Man’s weakness has always been himself. Pride, lust, immorality, and everything else we live by, are only consequences of man’s inability to keep their inner self-clean. It’s not that they should be perfect, we know that is something unheard of, but men definitely have what it takes to succeed and become whatever they want to, if only they understood about this weakness and worked at it.

You see, my dear apprentice friend, you and I have seen men whose strength has beaten us easily. And why is that? Because these men realize their weakness and therefore hold dependence on the One Greater than us. You know, the Enemy. Once they live by what He says, we’re doomed! No matter how weak they look or how little they know, these men are unbeatable, unfortunately.

The Enemy spoils them with extraordinary strength so that their weakness cannot stand, and so they become like a fire torch. I’ve seen it, I’ve been there, near some of these strong men and I can say to you, it’s hard to breathe near them! Their eyes burn us in an instant and whatever they say with their mouth, it’s done. I had a horrible experience once, I would rather not comment on it much; but for the sake of clarity I tell you, for you to have an idea, I was on my knees being burned by a large crowd just because I had been working in my patient’s life. – I mean, she was mine, – she was doing the things I like, and so I think I had the right to be in her life! But no, once they decided that I should leave, I was actually pulled out of my patient’s life with a blow. I was deeply ashamed, and I stayed out of sight for a couple of days. Of course the minute my patient did something I liked, I came right back again; and this time, I brought 7 of my other colleagues, you know the drill.

Once they have the Enemy’s strength inside, there’s nothing we can do but wait for them to decide to do something wrong by their own will – Then we’re back in the game. But that doesn’t happen very often, after all, only fools throw away a life of success for minutes of pleasure!

Yours,

Chief Minthropis

Pretending not to feel it

Imagine this: you serve God all your life and the only thing you ever asked from Him was to have a family of your own. But a long time has passed and you're still alone. You even pretend not to care the whole week, but when Saturday comes and you find yourself all alone in your room, emotions start taking over your mood... you feel sad. It's not that God hasn't been enough for you, it's just that you want to share this happiness He has given you with someone too.

Think about Abraham, It took him more than twenty years to see the one thing he wanted in his life, God's initial promise, a son. Although God promised Abraham much more than just a son, it was the one thing he wanted the most in his life... In fact, Abraham didn't see all God's promises come true in his lifetime - we did.

For us, everything that happened to Abraham makes sense. For Abraham, at the time, it didn't. We know his story, he didn't. If God had given Abraham a son right in the beginning of his journey, would he have had the faith to sacrifice him to God later on? Of course not! Those twenty-something years molded Abraham to the man we know today: God's true friend, the father of faith, the blessing itself!

God knows how tough it is for you to be lonely... He knows how hard you try not to notice it in your life, and He truly appreciates your trust in Him. There's a reason for this wait, though we may only find out about it later, it's reassuring to know He is in control. There'll be a story to tell, an amazing story of love and trust, and you will be the main character in it.

I read your book

About 3 months ago, I achieved a dream that I believe most women wish to achieve: to marry! I planned and organized everything at the right time, and finally the long awaited day arrived. In truth it was a dream come true. My wedding day was wonderful, my honeymoon as well. But I didn’t have a clue (I thought I had), about what comes after the white dress and all the preparations.

My husband was always too busy, and he had very little time left for me. We worked the whole week, attended church at night, went home to sleep, and repeated this pattern day after day. There were many nights I went to sleep crying, and other nights we ended up arguing. I claimed that he didn’t pay attention to me, and he claimed that I complained too much. Many times he saw me pack my bags and go back to my mother’s house. Because I thought at least my parents give me attention. That’s how I spent my first two months of marriage (maybe I was going through an adapting period.)

Then one day, I was with my husband at the bookstore and I saw the book “Better than a New Pair of Shoes.” I had heard about it before, but I never thought of buying it. I looked and looked, then walked around the bookstore again, until my husband told me to just get it. So I did. The moment we got into the car, I opened the book and started reading. Soon I was laughing and saying, “honey, you have to read the ten things every husband should know.” The article seemed like everything I wanted my husband to know. And in reading simply the first articles, it seemed God was already changing me. One day before going to sleep I told my husband,“It seems like she’s talking to me!” I had read a part that said God cannot use those who live being upset. My husband smiled as if saying, “you see, I told you so!” That night I went to sleep willing to change my attitude. I finished the book, and everything clicked according to what I was going through.

I recognized that it wasn’t my husband who needed to change, it was me. After doing this I became closer to my husband, and even closer to God! Congratulations Mrs. Cristiane, I can say with assurance your book changed my life.

Talita Uoya

Changing your life or your shirt?

Are you standing or standing out?

God's voice in Abraham's ears was the closest he had ever felt to greatness. It was sublime, and he didn't think twice before doing exactly what God told him to do... no, wait. Abraham didn't only do what God told him to do... he did more!

Check out the first thing he did the minute he left his father's house. The man built God an altar! Who told him to do that? Where did he learn to come up with something like that?

In those days, people built altars for all kinds of gods. When Abraham finally met the one true God, he immediately found a way to honor Him, he not only built Him an altar, but also offered Him a sacrifice. Now that's what I call 'starting with excellence'! He didn't have to build God an altar, he didn't have to offer Him a sacrifice, and he didn't have to do it first thing.

Here's a way to surprise people and above all, God. Every time you do something positive, that you were not told or supposed to do, you stand out in the crowd like a green apple in the midst of a hundred red ones. Everybody is always doing the minimum required - the average is all they get most of the time. But when you go the extra mile, you get the attention nobody is getting...

Abraham honored God from the beginning. Stop waiting for people to tell you what to do, go ahead and surprise everyone!

My mother hates me

I hear about how ugly, incapable, stupid, and lazy I am almost every single day by my mother. She loves my older sister but as for me, it feels as if she hates me. My dad keeps trying to make up for her lack of love, although I only get to see him on weekends. It’s really hard to be the daughter she wants me to be... sometimes I feel like disappearing.

Your mother needs help. It’s not normal for a mother to hate her own child, and so I can only conclude she needs spiritual help. Whenever you encounter a problem which is not normal and no matter how much you try to solve it, it gets worse then you can conclude this: it’s a spiritual problem. Spiritual problems can only be solved spiritually.

Don’t hate your mother back - understand her instead. Pray for her, but not only that, fight for her spiritually. Whatever has been using her to destroy your family and your self-esteem can easily be defeated with strong prayers. Come to the church on Fridays and make a chain of prayer for her. And while you do that, you’ll also grow spiritually to the point that nothing and no one will be able to make you feel down.