Why should you get married?

1. You want to live the rest of your life next to this person.

2. You want to add to this person's life.

3. You want to become a family with this person.

4. You want this person to come first in your life.

5. You want to become one with this person.

If you're getting married for any other reason, don't. Marriage is about giving and never about taking.

I love Africa

The animals are free to be themselves - nothing keeps them from running in the wild...

They're in their natural habitat...

There are still amazing caves in this country...

Baby animals feel safe here....

And to think that before mankind sinned, we could have had this all along... animals living among people, no fear, no harm - just amazing creations getting along with one another.

We lose so much when we do what is wrong... why can't we ever learn?

How to add

Mathematics was never my favorite subject and yet, it's one of the subjects that most makes sense. Once you understand it, you're in the circle. In life, maths plays a very important role, especially when it comes to adding and subtracting. We use this practically every single day but we hardly think we can add to anybody's life.

It's the usual 'who am I to do this!'

The problem with that is that if we don't add, we subtract... and that's where most problems come from. Somebody somewhere stopped adding to someone else's life and there you go, a problem is born.

In regards to wives, this is so crucial. We get married to add some value to the man we commit to. We don't get married thinking 'I just want to have somebody sleeping next to me every night'. When we stop adding to his life, we start taking away because that's just how things work. Women have the power to influence anybody they want to either do good or bad.

If you want to add to your husband's life, start giving. If you want to subtract, start demanding - this is a sure way to divorce. The same applies to every other area of your life. If you stop giving to your children, you'll start taking away. If you stop giving to your health, you'll start taking away... and so forth.

To be continued.

The distraction

(continuation from last Sunday)

My mother noticed I was in love just by looking at my face... she kept me posted about Renato but nothing new happened for the following three months. And so she kept on looking and found yet another candidate. This one was already interested in me and both parents were in the church. His mother told my mother about his interest and so unlike me, my mother quickly forgot about Renato...

'At least his family is in the church Cris, why don't you give him a shot?'

I hadn't seen him, at least I don't remember ever seeing him, and I didn't want to... I had my mind on the unavailable pastor she told me about in the previous months. She insisted that I'd at least talk to him on the phone and one day, she went to the point of calling him and handling me the phone. Thanks mom!

The phone call with the 'new candidate' took way too long. I couldn't wait to hang it up but he kept on trying to impress me about his spirituality... but I thought, if he was really spiritual, he wouldn't need to prove it to me.

While my mother cheered for the new guy, I kept my faith on the one I'd hardly even see. In the Brazil's winter of 1990, I was off school and consequently more active in the church. I'd assist in the morning meetings on Tuesdays and Fridays, and would even go out with an evangelism group sometimes. I also decided to change the way I prayed for Renato.

I asked God to bless his fiancee with someone better than him and if he was God's will for me, that God would send him to me in some miraculous way. I made the same prayer over and over again until one day, I heard the news.

Continues next Monday.

Zero to the left

I used to think that one could be there and yet not have any effect on others, if so they wished. A woman would get married to a man, live peacefully at home, and she could decide to either avoid getting into any trouble or make a difference in her husband's life... in other words, not add or take away anything major from his life. A zero to the left.

Recently, after much research not only through women I've counselled by also mainly from my own personal experiences, I've made a discovery that has changed the way I look at us women to a whole new level.

Women have the power to influence. No matter her role, she knows how to do it, but not only that, she ALWAYS does it.

A wife will influence her husband to the point of him doing something he didn't even know actually came from her. The same for the mother, the friend, and the relative - if they're women, they'll influence those around them in some way or the other.

This is the hidden power women have held onto since creation. It can be great but it can also be disastrous. It's a dangerous power to have. We can either do good or harm somebody - we can never simply not do any of these and that's where the danger is...

You're either a +1 or a -1 to your husband, children, friends, and relatives. How?

More next Friday.

How do you know if you're a bad friend

Nobody likes to know that they're not a good friend and that is why you hardly find anyone working in their friendship skills.... and so they never change. I don't think people mean to be bad friends, but many of them are when...

* They're not excited about their friends' achievements and will often say 'good for you'.

* They're too busy for their friends but they want them to be there for them when needed.

* They're not sincere with their friends and still want them to love them anyway.

* They never listen to what their friends have to say and yet, they want them to listen to them.

* They don't spend money on their friends but want them to remember their birthdays.

A bad friend often doesn't know she's bad until reality strikes her - she's actually a loner. The good thing is that she can still change into a good friend if she wants to. Just remember, a friend gives and rarely takes.

How it feels when we're in love with God