The mask

There is a flaw that is apparent every now and then in some people. They seem to be so nice and so apparently friendly that sometimes you even feel inferior to them based on how they treat everybody around them. And to your great shock, they end up being someone completely different and it is hard to really understand why they have put on such a pretense.

People say many things, such as that they wanted to please and therefore behaved that way or the other, or that they just wanted to hide who they really were - but if they really mean what they say, why did they hide themselves behind a facade? Isn’t being yourself good enough for people? If not, then nobody is good enough for anyone - because the last time I checked, we’re still all humans, prone to mistakes and shortcomings.

How can anyone know anyone if all we show is our good side, or worse, a complete mask that seems to show what we wish we were like? How can anyone love someone who is not real? How can any friendship or relationship last this way?

Pretending to be someone you’re not is actually a hard task. You have to keep up with all the lies you’ve said and constantly change the different masks - it’s a hard job.

Then you have to face the person who you’ve deceived when the truth comes out, because that is never gone completely from the map…you have to think of excuses that won’t make you look so bad - and then there's the shame and humiliation you will feel and the trust you will lose.

Nobody was ever successful at being someone they’re not. Eventually the true self will come out, and then the person who lived this way will be discovered and known as a deceiver for the rest of his or her life. People won’t care about all the excuses you’ll be producing then; all they’ll care is that you weren’t who you said you were - and then how can they ever see you as a potential friend, wife or loved one?

So you see, being someone you’re not is not easier at all! Whilst if you are yourself, people will love you for who you are, with all the mistakes and flaws - and that’s true love.

They’ll never expect what you cannot give them, because they know you. And you can live in harmony with yourself, since you won’t have to spend your time keeping up masks or inventing foolish reasons.

If you’re exactly the person you are inside, you have a big chance of finding true love, true friendship and, most of all, a true relationship with God - Who, by the way, knows you from inside out and will never accept masks and deceits. It just doesn’t make sense, does it?

You know the person and the person tries to show you that she’s someone else - it’s just absurd! That’s exactly how God feels and this pattern of deception may be the reason why many religious people in the world never really meet God personally!

Up-keeping of a woman

Love for us is something we want to feel, touch, get hold of, and see. Inasmuch as it’s natural for us to love and show it through our actions and behavior, when we don’t get it in the way in return, we turn into a bore, nagging about it day in, day out. Frustration is one of the top emotions we’ll have that day and why? Just because we didn’t get what we would give.

They say we’re difficult beings and I couldn’t agree more. I think our high maintenance personality is really what overall differentiates us from men and yet, it’s probably the root of many unnecessary problems we go through. Everything for us seems a lot harder than usual but that’s exactly because of our female nature of making a big deal about every little thing.

We can be over the moon by a romantic attitude one day and completely forget it the next day when we’re still expecting more and more proofs of love. It’s never enough. If he says ‘I love you’ one day, you know you’ll want to hear it again the next day, and the next, and the next. No matter how many times he shows you his love and appreciation, you still keep on expecting him to do it over and over again.

The only problem with that is that we forget to use common sense when we’re creating problems that were non-existent in the relationship. The more we demand what’s already common sense from our guy, the less he wants to show it and in the process, we end up looking like fools. The kind of woman one prefers to live away in the desert.

We want to feel his love in many different ways. If he drinks the whole juice leaving nothing for you to drink, you think it’s lack of consideration, when in fact, he simply didn’t think about it. Or when he forgets your anniversary, you think he doesn’t care about it but in reality, he thanks God every single day for that special day he met you, he simply forgot the date.

Being high maintenance can many times saturate a relationship. The constant argument about how he never does this or that makes his chances of doing what you’re asking even smaller, and for the right reasons! Appreciation and love shouldn’t have to be demanded, required, and expected. These are natural feelings that only really matter when they’re spontaneous, and I think that’s what we want, isn’t it? Spontaneity.

So how can we deal with our high maintenance nature? Suppress it sometimes. Pretend you don’t need that extra reassurance. Value yourself more instead of begging others to give you a bit of value here and there. And above all, use your faith. You may not be appreciated as much as you deserve by people, but you certainly have a great value for God, Who knows you more than anyone else in this world and loves you just the way you are. With God, we can be high maintenance, and ask, ask, and ask. As a matter of fact, He said that we should do that! As long as we’re having a relationship with Him, He’s fine with that.

The undone To-Do list

A to do list on the fridge, a 2009 diary next to the bed, a few old agendas inside the drawers, a beautiful pet calendar behind the door, a personal memo on your laptop’s desktop, and post-it notes everywhere in your bathroom mirror. These are only a few of the methods women use to organize themselves. If only they worked…

Organizing your life is no easy task at hand. The more you have in life, the more difficult it gets. The better you become at being yourself, the more organizing methods you need. Sometimes it feels like being a woman is about having no control whatsoever! And to top it off, just as an extra bit of salt to our pain, there’s the famous PMS…

The only way we can succeed in having control of everything in life at the same time is by committing everything in God’s Hands. And though we may think we’ve done that at times, most of the times, we haven’t. We think we can do everything on our own and when we find out we can’t, we feel frustrated and with that same diminishing thought ‘I’m never the best I can be!’

The fact is, if we’re organized spiritually, we’re organized everywhere else in life. If we often pray, we often do well to others. If we always read the Bible, we always know what to do. If we keep our hearts clean on a daily basis, we also keep our relationships well on a daily basis.

If we can only realize that we cannot do it on our own, we’ll consequently depend on God and He will surely help us through. That’s when we have control. That’s when we know what to do first. That’s when we finish what we started.

Then our homes will be in order, our husbands happy, our children in peace, our work progressing, our talents invested on, our beauty on show, and our faith on high.

When we’re well spiritually, we’re well everywhere else in life. Think about that. You can invite PMS in but there won’t be a place for it to rest. You can still use to do lists here and there but you won’t depend on them. You’ll be in control, not only of your responsibilities, but most importantly, your emotions.

Man up!

You're Beautiful

Tips on how to be pleasant - Last day!

26. Learn how to be a multi-task woman. Women who can't do too many things at once are often the ones left behind carrying the bags. In this day and age, we need to be able to do a lot at once so we can get somewhere soon. Be there for your family and friends and at the same time, be busy. Take care of your house and at the same time, of yourself. Don't just do one or the other - it's just not pleasant at all.

27. Mind your own business. What the person did last weekend, where she went, where she's traveling to is really none of your business unless she gladly offers it to you... You may not think this is relevant for you but think about the times you've asked people where they bought something they were wearing... it's not pleasant nor discreet at all. If you like something you saw someone wear, look for it yourself and try to avoid buying the exact same thing, have some personality.

28. When answering the phone, make sure you do it in a soft pleasant voice. Don't ever go 'YES' or 'WHO IS THIS?' at first. Say 'Hello', let the person introduce herself and then make sure you go 'Hello, how are you?' or 'Good morning!'.

29. Don't avoid being home. Your home should never ever be avoided, no matter what you do in life. Learn how to love your home. Every woman needs to understand that she's also a homemaker. We can be a homemaker or a home-breaker. You can work the whole day and still take good care of your home. It's so pleasant to be with women who know how to cook, clean, and be a homemaker. They know how to decorate anywhere they go, they're always so clean and tidy, and often admired by other women.

30. Be happy for others' success. If you're truly not, pray that God changes your heart as this is one of the most basic Christian traits.

Tips on how to be pleasant - DAY V

21. Have a sense of style. People who don't know how to dress their body type will often feel inferior to those who do and because of their inferiority, they won't feel so free to be who they are. Work on your own style, create an image for yourself. Are you fun? Wear colors. Are you cute, wear flowers. Are you creative? wear mixed things. Show your personality by the way you dress, that's a very pleasant sight to look at.

22. Never make yourself the center of attention, and that includes when you're on Facebook. Don't post a picture of yourself posing to the camera just to show everyone how beautiful you looked that day. If you're going to post a picture, post pictures with others and of others. You should enjoy celebrating others more than celebrating yourself.

23. If you say you'll do something, do it right away. If you borrow something from someone, return it as soon as possible. Don't owe anyone anything, that's one of the most unpleasant ways of dealing with others.

24. Think of others whenever you do anything. Put yourself in their shoes. If you're removing your car from the parking lot and there's someone waiting for you, don't take your time to put on the seatbelt, look yourself in the mirror, see where you left the cellphone, or call someone. It's never pleasant to leave others waiting on you and for you.

25. Don't be too quick to dismiss other people's opinions. If you don't like someone's opinion, you can say you'll need to think about it more, don't just say you don't like it and that's it. A pleasant person listens and thinks. Always remember that.

5 last tips tomorrow, enjoy!